You know the way for me
You know the time
Into your hands
I trustingly place mine 
Your plan is perfect 
Born of perfect love
You know the way for me
 That is enough 

 August 2021
            As I sat in mass this morning thinking about Covenant Day, the promises and demands crossed my mind. Quite frankly, I don’t really know what they are anymore. The only one that ever stood out to me was to fulfill your duties faithfully or something like that. I can say without a doubt that even that demand, I have not fulfilled faithfully. And on that note, I have noticed that my thoughts are perhaps a bit different or maybe even a bit off when it comes to the promises and demands. I realized this morning that I am unconcerned with the promises and I’d like to change the word “demand” to something different. Stay with me here and God willing He will give me the words to try to explain.
            I understand that both are necessary to attempt to show us how the relationship works. And that is where I get stuck and my thinking gets off track because hasn’t Mary done so much for me already? Hasn’t she promised me eternal life by her “Amen” to the Angel Gabriel and through her Son Jesus? I am also wondering if I have ever entered into any other relationship based on what the other person would or could offer me. And if I have, have any of those relationships ever flourished into anything with any depth or mutual love for each other?
            I prefer to focus on the demands, the expectation to uphold my end of the deal. Mary will always hold up her end and I wish to have a true, everlasting relationship with her. For love of her, I wish to give in to the demands and live up to the expectations. Not for graces, not for promises, not for answered prayers, not for anything except love of her do I desire this relationship. Even though I fall extremely short every day, this is still the deepest desire of my heart. I have asked her to teach me where my thoughts are skewed and where they are correct because that is part of her role in Schoenstatt. Mary educates where human minds, words, and hearts fall short and I trust she will do this for me too, when the time is right.
           I have a longing for her mantle and her arms that are a very close second to the longing I have for Heaven. I know I cannot attain either without her, without grace, without a promise, yet I want nothing of them if they distract my thoughts from her. I only share this because we need not be fearful of the fickleness of humanity when it comes to our seeking the truth. And I am fearful of the accusations, the misunderstandings, and the perceived offenses to those I would ask these questions and have these conversations with, so I ask Mary. I am not fearful of her. She has never failed to answer any of my endless questions if I am willing to wait long enough. She’ll answer yours too. Just ask her. Soon, she will teach us all what our duties are and how to fulfill them faithfully. I am of the persuasion lately that our duties reside somewhere between two hearts, one Sacred and one Immaculate, right where any child should be.

                                                                                    ~Theresa Jenkins


Submitted by an anonymous Schoenstatt  member